Apr 28, 2014

How to Acquire a Title

I'm sure you can do this by any of several different methods.  Off the top of my head, maybe:
  1. Befriending the queen
  2. Saving a royal grandchild
  3. Doing a favor for a royal
  4. Marrying a royal
  5. You get the idea
The problem with these is that they're time consuming, costly (if there's no royal family in your country), rely too much on chance, and are, well, stalkerish.  I've been to Buckingham Palace and, while beautiful, it must be something of a nightmare to be surrounded by crowds of adoring, gawking fans ALL THE TIME.  I'm glad I'm not famous.

To get to the point.  I took the easy way out.  I bought my title.  That's right, you may now address me as Lady Jennifer of Sealand.

My super awesome noble title from Sealand

Oh.  I guess I should explain what Sealand is.  The noble country of Sealand is, in fact, the smallest country (and the word country is pretty loosely used here) in the world, and its history is hilarious.  So after World War II, one of the military forts sitting a few miles off the coast has been abandoned.  Major Paddy Roy Bates basically came along and said, "Hmm... I own this now."  Because of some legal loophole and the location of the fort being more than 3 miles from the shore, England technically did not have the authority to oust this upstart without the situation being considered an "international conflict."  So, realizing the fort really wasn't that big a deal, especially in peace time, England said screw it, and let Bates keep his new country, which he named Sealand.

Other interesting facts:
  • Sealand has since formed their own constitution, anthem, and currency
  • The country has fended off a takeover attempt by the now ex-prime minister of Sealand, who treacherously hired mercenaries and took over while the ruling family (and presumably only occupants) were away.  The family returned, fought them off, and even held the prime minister hostage for several weeks before releasing him to his home country of Germany
  • As you may have already guessed, they sell titles, knighthoods, and even land to silly people like me, who think it's great fun to be nobility, even if it's just from Sealand.  You can buy one on their website: SealandGov.org.

Me with my title.  You can bet this baby's going on the mantel!

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