Jun 4, 2014

Cranky Pants

"Are we all happy campers here?"

My older relatives used to tease us about this at the family reunions.  My cousins and sisters and I were pretty typical kids - which is to say, frequently grumpy or upset for no real reason (seriously, kids don't know how good they have it).  But even when we were cranky, we didn't want to be known as a "cranky pants" (almost as bad as a "party pooper"!) so we'd all put on our happy faces and say, "Happy Campers!"  Five minutes later, the ruse would have succeeded and we'd all be playing, having forgotten we were ever cranky in the first place.

As an adult, it's not that easy.  People like to say "it's just one of those days" but for me, it's usually a week, give or take.  Nothing in particular initiates the cranky week (and it's not a monthly thing, so don't even go there), but EVERYTHING compounds it.  And, everything takes on a negative cast.

Things that seem very different during cranky week:

1. Philosophical Discussions at Work

  • Normal - Delightful and fun with many ideas worth pondering later
  • Cranky Week - Pompous jerks spouting a load of... fallacies

2. Chores Undone at the House

  • Normal - No big deal; I'll do it or ask one of the guys
  • Cranky Week - Household full of inconsiderate slobs, and an uneven work load

3. Reading Memoirs of a Geisha

  • Normal - Interesting depiction of a different culture and immense dedication of the main character to overcome so many obstacles
  • Cranky Week - Life is unfair, other cultures are stupid, and everyone's out to screw you (mostly figuratively, but a little bit literally, too)

    4. Roommate Making Brownies

    • Normal - How delightful!  I should probably wash the dishes in exchange for this tasty snack
    • Cranky Week - I'm not doing these dishes, and I won't eat any just to prevent myself from being guilted into it.

    5. Being Asked a Question

    • Normal - Let's see, how do I answer this is the most concise, but diplomatic way?
    • Cranky Week - B****, what you say to me?!

    I could go on, but I'm sure you get the idea.  It's a bit like this.
    (I'm not sure who to credit this image to, but I saw in on Reddit and the watermark says damnlol.com)

    By the end of the cranky week, I'm barely dragging myself to work in the mornings, and afterwards I head straight to bed.  This continues until the morning that I wake up happy, which is usually a day or two after getting 10 hours of sleep each night.

    The cranky week used to be devastating, as I rampaged and forced my foul mood into everyone's face, but lately, I've begun to recognize it for what it is.  Now I just retreat and wait it out, and when people start getting on my nerves or asking me why I'm not talking I just think to myself that I'm being a cranky pants, and the silliness of that memory gets me through without mauling anyone.

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