Oct 28, 2014

Reconcilable Differences

Idea borrowed from Steph's post Different Strokes for Different Folks.

I don't know about you, but when I gave up on dating the random guys who entered my life by chance, and started an online dating profile, I had very specific things in mind.  Obviously I wanted to avoid some of the mistakes I'd made in the past, and find someone whose values aligned a little more closely with my own.

But I was also looking for someone who had different hobbies and interests and could help me branch out.  I think a relationship is more rich and enjoyable if you have things to teach each other and share with each other.

Now that we've been together 3+ years, Significant and I have blended a lot of our hobbies and interests together, but there are some ways in which we are just different.  And that's what today's post is all about.  Here's some of the things Significant and I do differently:

  • Significant would like to read more, but can't resist the allure of gaming.
  • I would like to game more, but find books to be ultimately more compelling.
  • Significant's needs are simple: he craves downtime, he does it, it makes him happy.
  • Mine are complex.  I feel like I need downtime, I take it, I feel like a bum for not being productive.  But if I knock 1 or 2 items off my to do list and then relax, then I'm ecstatic.
  • Significant tends to crave ethnic foods: Indian, Thai, Ethiopian, etc.
  • I like plain ol' American food.  Give me some surf and turf!
  • Significant is a pretty casual planner.  He knows which things are important for him to know ahead of time and the rest is more, "I'll get to it when I get to it."
  • I need packing lists.  And to do lists.  And lists of contact and emergency numbers.  And I need to pack at least a day ahead to not feel like I'm forgetting things.  And at least 1 backup plan.
Sleeping Habits
  • Significant would probably happily go nocturnal.
  • I'm at my best in the mornings (as long as I get enough sleep).
  • Significant likes to use vacation time to relax and do as little as possible, in a leisurely fashion.
  • I like to see and do as much as I can - I can relax back at home.
Activities Together
  • Significant has some great ideas, but...
  • I'm the one who actually organizes it and contacts other people to set things up.
Energy Level
  • Significant tends to be pretty low key, and frequently serious.
  • I'm bubbly and infrequently serious; which means a lot of my jokes get serious answers.
TV Preferences
  • Significant likes intense shows that draw him in and keep him interested.
  • I like light-hearted shows that make me laugh and feel stress-free.
  • Significant either does it or doesn't.  He never stresses about things he should be doing.
  • I have a much bigger list of things I think should be done, and when they're not it bothers me.
In general, even though we don't always see eye to eye, I think it's a good balance.  Significant is the level headed one who keeps me grounded, and I'm the enthusiastic goal setter, who keeps us from getting entirely complacent.

What do you and your partner do differently?  Do you subscribe to the "opposite attract" theory?

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