Aug 19, 2015

Dating - an Astrological Overview

I'm a huge skeptic.  I think I've made it clear that my beliefs are limited to what I can see, learn from a reliable source, and that make sense in the logical world as I know it.  It's not the most exciting or magical way to live, but that's how my brain works.

So it may come as a surprise that I love Astrology.  Do I believe it?  No.  Or, mostly not.  But there is a teeny, tiny piece of my brain that says, "You know, maybe...."  And let's face it, that piece of my brain is the most fun one, so I roll with it.

Horoscopes have always seemed kind of bogus to me, but my astrological sign?  Oh yeah, I'm a Cancer through and through.  Off the top of my head, Cancerian traits that fit me to a tee: I'm moody, emotional, and nurturing.  After some research (from the surely super reliable Ganesha Speaks) I'll add: indecisive, intuitive, sympathetic, and strong.  Fear of rejection by loved ones and prone to being hurt easily.

I think it's the negatives that I really, really relate to.  Maybe that's just me being too quick to dismiss my virtues, but I've always thought I fit the "cranky crab" profile of the typical Cancer.  And while I might blow off the opinion of someone who's not important to me, or even to step away from a friendship that's fading, the people that I really, really care about have immense power to hurt me.  I value their opinions far more highly than my own, and it takes a long time for those emotional wounds to heal.  On a more positive note, I think being hurt easily and feeling what is perhaps an excess of emotion allows me to tune into how other people feel, why they might do what they do, and really empathize.  I'm quick to anger (and every other emotion) but I work my butt off to get that under control because I don't want to be responsible for hurting people the way I hurt when someone crushes me.

I was so blown away by how well the Cancer profile fit that I even included the crab claws from the astrological symbol in my tattoo.

Just my outer thigh, nothing naughty

There was one book in particular that seemed to be an accurate reflection of, not just myself, but the others in my life.  It's a dating book, called The Everything Sex Signs Book: Astrology Between the Sheets.  Yeah, it's a little dirty.  But, despite the title, most of the book is about the relationships between different astrological signs and how they relate to each other.  And it has been spot on for every long term relationship I've ever been in.

Since you're obviously dying to know, let's discuss my entire relationship history!

Relationship 1: The Taurus

According to the Sex Signs book, Taurans and Cancerians are a "hot" match.  Not in the dirty sense, just that they're one of the most compatible combinations - each has traits that the other seeks, and they enjoy all the same things: the comfort of the home, good food, and plenty of lazy indulgences.

Like I said, the book was spot on.  Our personalities were incredibly compatible and we were super comfortable together.  But there was one problem.  He was batshit crazy.

There were plenty of warning signs, but I was only 19, thought he was just charmingly different, and overlooked the arrest, his illegal habits, his penchant for "get-rich-quick" schemes, and his inability to keep a job.  The breaking point was when he showed up outside my parent's house in the middle of the night, insisted I get in the car, and then drove around like the crazy person he was for an hour or two because "they're following me."

Ain't no astrological combination good enough to put up with that.

Relationship 2: The Aquarius

The book referred to this combo as a "fizzle."  I decided to pretend I hadn't read that and leapt in, heart first!  In truth, we made it about a year before the constant arguing and nasty words we threw at each other made both of us  miserable.  But I'm terrible at letting go, and it was his first real relationship, so neither of us was strong enough to call it quits.

We lasted for an entire year after the first and not a day went by that we didn't fight or say unpleasant things to each other.  The book said things about Aquarius pulling away and Cancer being hurt by it.  That happened.  The book said Cancer looks at things emotionally and Aquarius prefers logic.  That was often a problem.  The book said Cancer prefers to have strong ties to friends and family, while Aquarius is independent and doesn't understand or enjoy that close network.  That was also a source of contention.

Of course, the book didn't say anything about anger problems, being young and not knowing what you want yet, or the vast host of insecurities we each possessed, but hey!  Astrology can't do everything.

Relationship 3: Ryan

Ok, so you know how I said the book was spot on for everyone?  That maybe have been a slight exaggeration.  Ryan is a Pisces, but he doesn't fit his astrological sign as well as past relationships have.

The Pisces profile talks about being emotional and Ryan is extremely logical.  It goes into great detail about creative personalities, etc, etc and other things that don't quite ring true.  But then there's a section that always hits me.  Pisces are prone to periods of low energy and "the blahs."  It goes on to talk about how they may need their partner to drag them out of this slump and that being needed is the best solution.

Ryan has a regular enough slump schedule that we sometimes refer to it as his "man period."  He works his butt off for weeks, sleeps less, exercises, does ALL THE THINGS, and then dies for a week or 2 and needs to hibernate until he recovers.  And sometimes I do have to drag him out of his tired, cranky little rabbit hole to come do normal human being things.

There's other things that also fit, but the whole page about "the blahs" is so spot on that I find it reassuring that Ryan is a Pisces.  Because Pisces and Cancer are a good match.  By every resource I looked at.  Pisces is supposed to help Cancer's moods, and Ryan does that for me.  Apparently I'm supposed to be the practical, materialistic one and I wouldn't say that's true, but the part about Cancer energizing and motivating Pisces is pretty accurate.  There are a few things that said the major obstacles Pisces and Cancer need to overcome is communication and over-sensitivity and those have definitely been issues we've tackled together.

So I realize for a supposed skeptic this is a buttload of analysis and reliance on a book based on something I supposedly don't believe in.  And, for the most part, I accept it as humor and coincidence and it's all just a fun game.  But that tiny piece of my brain pays attention to all the seeming coincidences and it wonders...

What's your astrological sign and do you relate to the personality profile for it?  Do you believe in astrology?  Even if you don't, isn't it fun to play around with?

Linking up with Nadine and Laura.
Thanks so much for doing this link up!  I've had this post in draft for about a year so I was glad for the excuse to finish and post it.

Jenn signature graphic | Business, Life & Design


  1. It says that leos and cancers are zodiac neighbors and make great friends and colleagues, so go us! I had to LOL at the bat shit crazy part. Hmmmm Chris is a taurus. He fits his sign pretty well, too. We aren't the most compatible of the signs, but I don't fit a leo 100% so we make it work lol. I had so much fun reading your post! I absolutely love your tattoo too!!! It is so pretty and colorful! Thanks for linking up with us, I am getting to learn so much new information on everyone today...and more in depth look at different signs.

  2. I don't really believe in astrology and horoscopes but I've always been interested in reading what signs have what traits. After Little K was born I read all about Sagittarius even though I knew we were compatible, my oldest friend is a Sag and we are so much alike.

  3. Im not the best with astrology though I did read something weeks ago about virgo women in relationships and I said WOW - spot on!!! I love reading about it - I just dont understand it and Im not sure I believe it. Lol

  4. Okay I soooo want to read this book now! I was trying to find something online about Scorpios and Capricorns because I've never actually looked at astrology in my relationship with Michael. (I mean, we're getting married, so if astrology says we're not compatible it won't change anything, just curious!)

  5. I definitely believe, I'm a Scorpio to a t! We're good with other water signs (pisces and cancers) and wouldn't you know it, John and my best friend Meredith are both Cancers :)

  6. oh i'm sorry the aquarius was a dud (though yay for moving on and finding Ryan haha). I am so not a typical aquarius, i am way more emotional than logical and i never ever ever pull away hahaha. i would love to know what the book said about leos and aquarius! my best friend and husband are both leos, i find that funny!

  7. I'm not big into horoscopes, but I am almost completely true to my sign (Sagittarius) and definitely think that there may be some truth between signs and compatibility. My first serious relationship was with a Pisces and he definitely had "slumps" and eventually I got too tired of dragging him out of them and went off without him lol. I love hat you incorporated part of your sign in your tattoo, even if you are a bit skeptical ;)

  8. I tend to keep a very open mind when I read horoscopes, especially daily ones. I don't think they're always accurate but I've had some that read as if they were written solely for me. The way I see it, you see/hear what you need when you need it. I'm a big believer in synchronicities.


Talk to me! I'm friendly. I won't bite.

P.S. If you use Blogger and you want to get email replies to your comments, use your blogger profile instead of Google+ and make sure the box is checked next to "show my email address."