Aug 23, 2016

Stupid Reasons I've Unfollowed

I'd like to begin this post by reassuring everyone that I know perfectly well that these are dumb reasons (I'm skipping over the obvious ones like "I didn't like their material anymore"), and I have no intent to advise people on what they should or should not write about.  We all have our turn ons and turn offs, and for whatever reason, the following things hit me at just the wrong time, or happened to be the tipping point that caused me to unfollow.  (Note: no blog names mentioned because I'm not trying to point any fingers, except maybe at myself for occasionally being ridiculous.)

1. They told me something was easy that I don't find easy

Either they're naive, or I make life more difficult than it needs to be, but I don't like either rubbed in my face.

2. How to posts from beginners

It really, really bugs me when people post "what I learned" or "how tos" about relationships, specifically, or any hobby or activity after participating in whatever it is for a month or two.  I'm sorry, but you don't know shit yet.  Dispense your wisdom when you're 10 years in or you've successfully completed something, not right after starting.

3. Bible quotes

I would like to first point out that I do like when people talk about their religious philosophy or the logistics of their faith or something, because that's fascinating.  But a lot of other religious talk bothers me (particularly sending prayers or using your religion to dictate how social issues should be decided) and for some reason I don't like bible quotes.  Couldn't tell you why - it's not logical whatsoever, but I've definitely unfollowed for that.

4. Dating stories that bashed men

After a month or two of laughing at funny date fails, I started to notice that the guys were always "total weirdos" and any awkwardness was always the men's fault.  And you know... if you have a problem with everyone else, that's a pretty good indication that the problem is you.  It really wouldn't hurt to occasionally give people the benefit of the doubt and it IS possible to tell a story about awkwardness and date fails without condemning the other person.

5. Taking pictures of strangers

"WTF Wednesday" started out funny, but I'm not a fan of people taking secret pictures of strangers in order to make fun of them on the Internet.  None of us are perfect and do you want a picture of yourself on someone else's website???  (Similar note: People of Walmart.  I know a lot of people enjoy this, but come on.  Don't we have anything better to do than laugh at strangers whom we consider outside the boundaries of propriety?  It's almost as bad as tabloids.)

6. Too much self deprecatory humor

I LOVE self deprecatory humor, so this one made me sad, but it had reached a point where I was no longer laughing along and instead was just genuinely worried about the person and whether they might be heading into depression.

7. Complaining about losing followers

Ummm... I'm still here but if that's not good enough I guess I can leave.

8. Pretending everything is peachy when it's not

If life is a shitshow right now, and everything is falling apart, you can either talk it out on your blog, or you can keep your personal life private.  But talking about it and trying to pretend it's all a huge positive really irks me, because it's so facetious and who are you trying to impress?  You can talk about how life is hard sometimes and I'm fairly certain the super-supportive members of the blogging community will still like you and be nice and want to help if at all possible.  Plus they might even have useful advice or resources.

9. I disagreed with them

I know, I know, I know.  If we don't read and listen to opposing viewpoints, how will we grow?  I try, but sometimes I get tired of it and then I head back to my cozy little circle of bloggers with similar views and we all agree with each other (most of the time) and life is awesome.  It's not an instant unfollow either, and I do like discussing issues and comparing viewpoints, but sometimes it's something I find particularly ignorant or obnoxious or I can't wrap my brain around at all, and then I give up and leave.

10. They gave away their pet

This is absolutely none of my business and I have no right to condemn someone for their life choices.  But I do.  As a pet owner, I feel like you owe it to that animal to provide for them and work with them until their life is over.  No one forced you to go adopt an animal.  The only valid reasons for giving up an animal, in my mind, are because they became violent and endangered people or you found a home where they would be happier.

11. Posts about posting

Posts about blog goals, or needing to post more, or why you didn't post, all that.  Unless of course, why you didn't post is a topic you'd like to cover in its own right.  But I guess just write or don't write.  Don't feel bad about not writing, especially if it's just a hobby.

12. Buzzwords

If buzzword fatigue is a thing, I think I have it.  We've been inundated with numbered lists, "easy," "simple," "fast," "miraculous," and "the very best" for a few years now and I've begun avoiding anything that registers as a clickbait type title (sorry Buzzfeed, we will never be friends).  I still love numbered lists, because I feel like they increase readability (or scannability - whatever), but I'm not going to title my posts with the exciting number of bullet points you'll be reading about!

That's pretty much it.  My tastes have changed a lot in the couple of years I've been blogging and I'm sure they'll continue to, so I might even have 12 entirely different but equally dumb reasons in another couple of years.

What's the most illogical reason you've unfollowed someone?

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  1. Haha I am with you on people who try to share advice about something when they just started. Like who the fuck are you to say these things? And I get tired of people that take blogging breaks and come back to say that they were sorry they were gone and that they are coming back...only to come back in 5 months and say the same stuff. Blog or dont blog I dont care, but dont tell me you are sorry you didn't and you are back for good and then you aren't again. You look like a damn fool! Life happens, we all know that and get it. I dont want to hear someone constantly tell me they were too busy for I don't have things to do too.

  2. The constant advice/how-to's I can't handle...even if the person really is an expert in that area. I've definitely unfollowed people because I disagreed with them. But I've seen a few people comment things that I disagree with and I don't unfollow. Honestly, I think it's based on the level of how much I liked the person's blog in the first place. If I was just 'eh' on it and then they post an opinion that I find to be ridiculous/offensive/whatever, I'll immediately unfollow. If I like their blog and they don't constantly repeat that opinion, they can stay. I was reading a blog that I never followed, but have followed on Instagram for a while and they were giving away their pet. They had this puppy for like two weeks and then were like, "We're taking it back." I think it was from a breeder to begin with which I'm not a fan of either. I had to read the comments to see if anyone else was thinking the same thing as me and thankfully I was not alone.

  3. Word, all of the above. #10 being my top one. I have no respect for anyone who does that, no matter what 'reason' they give. It's pathetic and cruel. #2 also, for sure. I still don't even post any how tos on minimalism because I'm still learning myself. I just post about what works for me.

  4. #2 is on of my biggest peeves. Or when they claim to be an "expert" but clearly are a novice. I also get so irritated when I see "experts" tell other bloggers to call themselves "experts" too. GRRRRRRR.... I'm probably more lenient on #1 but I do get upset when a blogger promises information/education I want but doesn't deliver the goods. #9 is also a big one. And like you, not just because we have a simple difference of opinion, but because I find their opinion to be horribly offensive, which typically means it is racist. Or they use religion to justify their behavior or hate. I generally don't run into that issue with the blogs I follow, but it is a regular problem on facebook.

    1. Right. It really depends what the opinion is. If it's offensive, that's an instant unfollow, if it's just annoying, then it depends on how much I like the other stuff they post. But sometimes if I wasn't very attached anyway, even a small thing can be the determining factor, which makes me feel kind of bad, but there's just too many blogs to waste time trying to bond with someone I don't enjoy!

      Facebook it is impossible to get away from because it's family or people I know in real life. I've unfollowed the vast majority of my FB friends, because we didn't become friends for sharing similar views, we became friends because of some other tie and don't necessarily have anything in common.

  5. I feel the same way about Bible quotes.. I follow plenty of religious people, and it's only when it becomes overwhelming where it's post after post of Bible quotes or whatever that I unfollow. Taking pictures of strangers is so creepy. People of Walmart was funny at first a few years ago, but now it's just weird. I hope no one takes stalker pics of me dressed weird. I remember I unfollowed someone once because they casually mentioned how they stole something from a shop that day like it was no big deal. Everyone was commenting like normal and I was so confused.

  6. I can't stand it when some early 29-something dishes out marriage advice ... Shit man, I've been married 8 years and I still don't have the golden ticket to a perfect marriage.
    If you are not an expert in your own right, stop pretending you're qualified to give it, right?!

  7. I'm giggling as I read this entire post because I've been guilty of unfollowing for most of these reasons. Personally, I'm happy with my bubble of bloggers (much like your "cozy little circle"), and I think my bubble and your circle are pretty much the same folks.

    Another reason that I have unfollowed when I feel like the get too professional and less real (in my humble opinion).

  8. my gym has bible quotes all over all the walls and i wish i could unfollow them but still use their gym. hahahaa. i follow/talk to a few people that i like 90% of the time and then they will post something i straight up don't agree with (normally something to do with politics, religion or sexual preference) and i just try not to read them, because otherwise i will hate them. lol. i had a conversation with one of my closest blog friends the other day about politics and i had to stop it because i didn't want her to come out and say something that i couldn't turn back from. we are all allowed different opinions, but i straight up cannot respect you as a person if you are an idiot. haha.
    people who apologise for not posting. i always want to say 'i don't care'. honestly. i take breaks and never apologise. sometimes i feel bad for being behind on blog reading but never for my own blog.

  9. I unfollow people who don't read/comment my blog back. I don't expect to hear from someone on every post, but if it's been months and I can tell you've never made an effort to reciprocate, I feel like I'm unnecessary and unfollow.

  10. YES to the men-bashing. And regarding relationships, I think that even some of the people who *have* been dating/married for a while, don't need to be pushing their advice. What works in one relationship does not work for another. I have been married for almost six years. I might write about something that we/do think, but I try not to *advise* people to do what we do. It might be all wrong for them.
    Gotta love those "easy projects with stuff from around the house" posts, with stuff that I don't think most people keep all the time.

  11. #10. A person loses absolutely allllllll credibility with me when they do this, whether it's a blogger (I don't know if it's something I've come across online) or in real life. I don't trust them. Period.
    #5. When teachers post pictures of students, I feel very uncomfortable. I would never outright complain about school and I'd never put kids on the internet. It's very interesting to read other teachers' blogs for this reason alone...we don't all see this the same way.
    And I don't mind a good Bible quote, but knowing your audience is important. I would explain how it relates to a current situation or struggle, not just post it and assume everyone knows what it means to me.

  12. I'm guilty of many of these, too, I just didn't know it until today! One of the big reasons I have unfollowed a few bloggers is because they are being compensated to plug a certain product in their blog, essentially writing a post that is commercial. I get it, for some ppl, blogging is their livelihood, but for me, that gets old after a while. I prefer blogging in it's purest, most simple form - as a platform to express myself and to open myself up to the expressions of others.

    Posting about posting rubs me the wrong way and complaining about losing followers does too. It's at that point that I want to ask them, "What is your motivation for blogging? Are you in it for popularity, for numbers, or for some other reason?" Oh, and I agree wholeheartedly about the advice from newbies. I did unfollow a blogger when she posted a piece about "Blah, blah ways to keep the fire going..." and she'd only been married a year or so. I thought, "Really? Talk to me once you've been married double digit years" LOL!

    Intriguing post. Kudos to Erin for the shout out, otherwise I would have missed it.

  13. HELLZ yes to #10. I'd be willing to put up with everything else (although not happily) but no. 10 would makes me A) tell them off and then B) write them off. Fur babies are babies and you don't "get rid of them." Grrrr.

  14. my biggest pet peeve is when someone posts like a dozen photos of themselves in one post and they're giant size photos, the same outfit and basically the same pose. i don't care what you look like or what you're wearing. i'm a writer. i READ blogs for the WRITING. generally as a rule. sometimes i view them for the pretty pictures of the places you've been because sometimes, i can't see those places, or maybe you've seen a different part of that place that i missed, like the interior of the basílica i temple expiatori de la sagrada família (that's the full name of gaudi's church in barcelona, which is a FANTASTIC, STUNNING example of architecture, though it doesn't appear to be so from a distance, and EVERYONE NEEDS TO SEE THAT. the group i was with didn't go want to go inside because they're STUPID teenagers, so we didn't. anyway... that. i hate that shit.

    1. and see, i got off on a tangent and forgot to close my parentheses and wrote "didn't go want to go"...

      and i call myself a writer...


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