Sep 29, 2016

Another Equally Unapologetic Rant Post

I've started and deleted a TON of posts because, in the end, there wasn't enough to say about each particular topic and I don't want to waste everyone's time on negativity.  But apparently I did this back in May and I kind of enjoyed reading it, so here's Unapologetic Rant Post #2!

1. If I Never Hear the Phrase "Libtard" Again, It'll Be Too Soon

Seriously, what's up with this?  As a pragmatist, I don't expect us to actually respect each other, but people throw this around like it's an objective statement and not some ridiculous insult meant to demean both Democrats and mentally challenged people.  And what would even be the Republican variant?  Conservadick?  Come on, people.  We're not 8th grade know-it-alls trying to make the substitute teacher cry.  (I mean, some of us are, but I'm fairly confident that's a small subset of the population.)

2. "He Just Called You Fat"

Sooo... one of my coworkers was trying to make conversation, and acknowledge the fact that yes, I am indeed with child, so he said, "You're starting to look pregnant, Jenn!"  A) This is true and B) I was wearing a maternity top, which is pretty much the best way to say, "Hey, I'm pregnant, not just chubby!"  So when another coworker pretended to be indignant on my behalf I felt... annoyed I guess?  It's just conversation and while it may be the best policy to never comment on someone being pregnant if you don't actually know for sure that they are, once it has been announced, I don't see the harm.

I diverted the conversation into maternity wear and how it automatically makes you look pregnant and so on, but looking back I really wish I had said, "I've always been fat, now I'm just fat AND pregnant."  Then at least the person feeling awkward at the end would have been the one trying to mess with the other person instead of the one who had no ill intentions.  Plus it would have supported my Fat Manifesto.

3. That Doesn't Apply to Me

I think sometimes it's easy to shrug off risks because they're scary and, when it's reasonably low or there's nothing we can do about it, there's really no point in letting that fear control our actions.  But there are a lot of risks we take that are completely avoidable.  No one thinks they'll be the ones to get lung cancer from smoking, until they do.  No one thinks they need a prenup or that they'll behave badly in the instance of a divorce, until they do.  No one thinks, "Wow, I'm being really irresponsible getting behind the wheel in this incapacitated mental state" until they've smashed their car, someone else's car, a human being.

I suppose there's really nothing new for me to say on the topic of alcohol.  You all know that I quit drinking even before I got pregnant, and I have no intention of going back after.  But it continues to be a presence in my life and it's so infuriating and terrifying and painful to watch people let alcohol make decisions for them.  And every time they escape unscathed, they think, "See, I wasn't that drunk.  I knew I was safe to drive."  Every.  Fucking.  Time.  And I suppose so it will continue until that luck runs out and I'll watch, helpless to do a damn thing about it.

4. Obese Pets

Sooo... perhaps this is hypocritical because I'm all about body acceptance for people, but to me, it seems so simple to keep animals at a healthy weight.  You don't have to experience their cravings and you have total control over their food.  Honestly, I'd never even heard of the concept of "open feeding" until fairly recently.  When we first got Luke we weren't using a particularly accurate measuring system, but we still used some kind of cup to dip food into his bowl and now, after a brief period of overweight-ness when we lived with a friend who kept food out and always available, he's healthy again and keeping him there is simple.  We still do treats periodically (ok, fine, all the time) and we don't worry about the impact on his intake.  If he seems to be getting bigger we reduce, if he seems thin, we increase.  Easy peasy.

So it just baffles me when people have animals that are so fat they have trouble moving around, or that develop health issues because of their obesity, because how can it not have occurred to their owners to take that one simple step of measuring their food?!  Yes, I get that it can be more difficult with multiple pets.  If Toast ever gets skittery for some reason and decides the stars have not aligned properly for the food bowl to be safe today, then Luke will happily handle that for her.  So when that happens, we pull Luke aside and wait for her to decide it's safe, or on a couple of occasions we just put the food back and made sure to give her extra treats and a larger portion at the next meal.  When we visit Sister2 and Brother-in-Law, their dog ravenously destroys his food and then goes after whatever other food bowls are in reach.  So typically we'll put him or Luke in another room and feed them each separately until our slowpoke is done.

If you have a pet that just doesn't eat, then ok.  You might have legitimate reasons.  But I feel like most of us who are worried about our pets being too thin are using human standards of size, expecting them to have extra fat that they really don't need (unless you're planning on dropping them off in the wild to fend for themselves for a couple months), and freaking out if they miss a meal.  I think, for the most part, if they miss a meal they'll just be hungrier for the next one.  Ryan's thin and misses meals all the time and somehow doesn't drop dead of starvation each time it happens.

5. Celebrity Drama

WHO CARES?!?!?!  It's bad enough that people are so fascinated with the lives of people they don't know anything about other than what movies they've been in or what the tabloids say about them, but when people have opinions or take sides?  You don't know them!  You don't know what happened!  You were not there.  It's not your fight to fight and I seriously doubt that your support or condemnation means a damn thing to someone who is exposed to the opinion of the masses on a daily basis.  Just have some decency and leave it alone.

That's it for now.  Hopefully I didn't bring you down too much!  (If so, please refer to the happy news from last week.  :P)

What makes you rant?

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  1. Yep. I'm nodding along to all thing. Last winter our vet scolded us because our older dog was gaining weight. We just cut back her food by half a cup and started going on more walks. She's all good now. We don't let them free eat- they get fed in the morning & at night. If they don't finish breakfast then they don't get dinner- because obviously they weren't hungry. We don't just fill empty bowls- we feed at food time.

  2. Conservadick haha. but yes to everything you said there.
    #3 - i read a book recently called take me with you, and it talks about that. how we all take the same risks every day but when it goes wrong, we blame that person, how stupid could they be to take that risk. so i mean, i don't smoke, i do drink occasionally but i won't drive, because i like to think that i am aware of the consequences no matter what the decision, you know? it's nice to think those things won't happen, but they can, and do. the other month i was at a party and people wanted to go get more alcohol. i had a few drinks and i was like sure, lets go! the girl goes to get in the drivers seat, and i said wait, you're driving? no. and they all acted like i was being a spoilsport, but she had way more to drink than me, plus is naturally just a nutter, and they left without me. i tried to stop them, but at a certain point, i am not going to try and convince another adult that they are being stupid. i don't want anything to happen to them, and i wouldn't say i told you so if it did, and of course nothing did happen, but i am not willing to make a decision, even just getting in the car and not driving drunk myself, that i am not okay with the consequences, even if they don't happen.
    i used to be SO obsessed with celebrity news and gossip.. you know, when i was 15-20. i was super unhealthy about it, i was more obsessed with their looks and wanting to be them. but as an adult, i simply do not care. i don't get why people do. i am sad when strangers break up, but i would be more sad about people staying together when they shouldn't. anyway.
    yes to obese pets. cats are really good at grazing, so we don't have to worry about feeding them a certain amount each day, though we try and limit treats or human food. but dogs, i think in general anyway, are more like scarf it down if it's in front of me, no matter how much i've eaten. my dog at home would eat all day if you let her!

  3. Hawkeye does well on free feed, I fill the bowl once and it'll sit for a couple days. She gets fatter when she's with my mom's dogs, because she eats breakfast and dinner and feels the need to eat it all otherwise the other two dogs will. Even though she's not hungry. The vet says she's perfectly healthy so we stick with it :) I wouldn't let her get obese though, I think that's mean. They aren't enjoying life at that point.
    yeah I really don't think 'you're starting to look pregnant' is an insult, when he knew you were. It's more like a guy's way of saying, 'cool, you're growing a person or whatever, I can see it now!' Some pregnant women, a lot of them, are quite proud when their bellies start showing so what's the big deal?

  4. Conservadick made me LOL. Love it (but agree that those names are dumb overall and we shouldn't use them :-p). A male friend of mine was seriously perplexed at the notion that you can't tell pregnant women they are getting his mind, if you aren't that equals a problem so it's basic logic & a good thing when preggo=bigger. I've decided safest thing regarding pregnancy is always "How are you feeling? You look great/cute/adorable/etc." Just leave size out altogether. The drunk driving thing MAKES ME LIVID. One of my dogs is overweight...because he literally just hates to move and loves food. My other dog, we could free feed and he would go a full day or longer without eating in the really just depends on the dog I think (like people!).

  5. Conservadick. Yas. Seriously, this election has turned everyone into grade school bullies. It's honestly disheartening.
    Max was scrawny when I adopted him. And still weighed 12 pounds! He's 17 lbs now and is healthy. He is just a large cat, which I never noticed was denoted on his form until I got home. :) I do feel bad when I see obese pets because, like you said, you are doing them no favors. I am a big softie, though, so if I had a pet that constantly begged for food or treats, it would be hard for me.

    1. Most of the dogs I've known are constant beggars. If you're eating, they're sitting nearby looking at you with sad eyes. I cave occasionally, but most of the time I don't even notice because it's just a constant in my life now.

  6. #1 makes my skin hurt. Ugh, people can be so disgusting. And that one only comes from people who can't seem to control themselves from saying or believing other horrifying things, so I feel no shame in judging people based on their use of this word.

    The #2 thing is annoying because I just generally find it annoying when people get offended on behalf of other people for kind of silly reasons. We're not all trying to start a war all the time, people. Settle down.

    Pet owners who don't take full responsibility for keeping their pets healthy frustrate me. I try not to assume because I'm not a vet and don't know if there's a contributing factor I don't know about, but if you just don't exercise or feed your pet properly (and honestly, same goes for very overweight kids too), you suck.

    I got ragey watching everyone freak out over Brad and Angelina's breakup. Even more so when people asked me directly "what do you think of it????" like I have any right or reason to have an opinion about the breakup of a couple I don't know. As a child of divorce it's especially annoying. And THEN the whole "what Jen must be thinking/doing/saying right now" layer was just disgusting and reductive and stupid.

  7. hahaha Conservadick makes me laugh. I had someone say to me last night "OMG when are you due, like tomorrow?" Ummm are you trying to say I look super pregnant fat? Because I have a short torso and this baby girl has no where to grow but out and I am about to punch you in the face right now. Its like pregnant women dont have rights or feelings to the rest of the world and everyone is so damn awkward. I feel the way you do about people who drink and drive. Nothing infuriates me more than that because it is so selfish and pointless. I don't understand how people can have extremely obese pets either. And I hate celebrity gossip and drama. I flat out don't care. It doesn't have an impact on my life and I don't know these people. It is a waste of time.

  8. ALL THE THINGS! Yeah, I don't feel like when someone already knows you're pregnant, saying, "You're actually starting to look pregnant!" is a bad thing at all. I know lots of pregnant ladies get super pissed when they're like 6 months along and people are like, "You're about to pop!" or "That has to be twins!" or whatever, but this comment is way more tame. (Also, it's not calling you fat, it's calling you pregnant. That person is dumb. But even so, fat shouldn't be a bad word, like you said before.)

    One of our dogs is SO skinny. The vet says she's fine if she's eating, but if she lost weight it would be bad. We put out their food twice a day and measure it. And if either of them is nosing around an empty bowl, we'll give them more. It's not hard!

    And holy crap I know, why do people bother with celebrity crap?! Your opinion on this celebrity's relationship or hair cut or whatever means NOTHING. NOTHING AT ALL.

  9. I straddle the fence sometimes of not being overly "PC" but definitely being super aware of what I say and how it impacts others or represents my values and beliefs. And, I like to think I learn and grow. That being said...(this may be a long comment to just one of your points)...I used to use the word "retard" (pronounced "re-TARD") after seeing one of the Hangover movies and Alan used it, pronounced it that way (incorrectly) and for some reason it snuck into my vocabulary.
    Wellllll.....I have a cousin who lost oxygen to his brain during birth, so he is mentally disabled. His sister, my other cousin, shared a piece she wrote about the word "retard" and how offensive it was to her because her brother was the kindest, most loyal, loving person in her life. Then, I stupidly used my mispronounced "retard" in a conversation with another friend. She said to me "uhm. I know you didn't mean anything by it, but my sister has down syndrome, and that word over any other word really gets to me." Damn. I felt like a dick.
    So, I stopped using it. I learned. I evolved. AND, that is why I hate the word "Libtard" even more than most.

  10. I personally am in favor of the word "conservadick." Just kidding, but libtard is a really annoying word. I think I usually give people the benefit of the doubt and wouldn't notice unless someone was outright insulting me. People get offended really easily. That's too stressful for me, I don't need any more stress in my life caused by getting outraged over everything people say. My cat is slightly overweight, which is why we don't leave food out. I let her do her thing, though, since she seems fairly healthy and not too big. She just loves food. It makes me upset when I see cats or dogs that can barely walk.. why are they getting fed so much?? You know I agree completely with the celebrity drama.. who cares?

  11. I can't believe how many animals come into the shelter either SUPER overweight or way malnourished. It's really sad. We get excuses like, "they've always been that way" or "they're picky." Like no sir, your cat was not always 25 pounds. IF she was, I really pity her mother during birth. We no lie had a 4 year old cat come in who weighed 25 pounds and could barely move. She could not jump up on anything as she just didn't have enough steam in her to do so. She was the sweetest cat who eventually went home and is doing wonderfully. It makes me shake my head ever damn time. End rant. :)

  12. I agree so much.

    If we can't disagree without calling people names, what hope do our kids have with learning how to treat others. It drives me crazy.

    I always wore maternity clothes early because I enjoyed looking pregnant. I don't know why people look for reasons to be offended. It takes too much energy.

    My dogs free feed and do fine. I fill the bowl up in the morning and there is usually stuff left in it the next morning. I once saw a dog that was so fat I couldn't tell what breed it was. I think it was a chihuahua but it really just looked like a barrel with a snout.


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