Oct 18, 2016

Something I Wish I Knew and Something I Hope to Remember

Finally linking up with Alyssa!  Alyssa's Back to Blogging challenge had 2 prompts that go very nicely together, so here's my...

One Thing I Wish I Knew One Year Ago

One year ago, I was very recently married and I was also nerving myself up to drop down to part time in order to pursue this freelance thing.  We had (and still have) a lot of life changes coming up, but the lesson is the same for all of them:

You can do it!!!

I was mildly terrified at the idea of being financially dependent on Ryan and not knowing where my income would be coming from.  As it turns out, my part time job actually does cover my monthly expenses pretty tidily and, while I definitely don't have as much play money as Ryan, I've had a pretty steady range for my freelance income.  Yes, budgeting is helpful for the slow months, but I'm not struggling and I'm not begging money from friends and family, and it's all working out just fine.

Marriage, on the other hand, I had no fears about.  I did not expect it to be hard, and that was dumb.  It is hard.  Incredibly so at times.  But in this too, I am stronger than I realized and I can do it.  So I think in general, I'd want myself to have more faith in my own strength and ability to grow and adapt.


One Thing I Want to Remember About Today

Maybe not literally today, but the past couple weeks as some projects picked up steam and I started getting immersed in the busy-ness of business, I want to remember the slow moments.  There weren't many, but the ones we had were very poignant and sweet.

Sitting on the couch with Ryan, doing our "kick count"* and thinking about this new life we'll have in 3.5 short months.  Exchanging glances at a wedding we attended and sharing the thoughts we had while watching 2 other people pledge their lives together.  Goofing off and playing Zelda together, which wouldn't normally be that special, but when it's the only downtime you've scheduled for yourself all week?  Hells yeah, that was fun.

So I guess what I'm saying is we've hit a sweet spot and, bringing this back to lessons I've learned, while I might once have been tempted to cling to it desperately, hoping to extend it as long as possible and push back the future hard times, I know better now.  All you can do is enjoy it while it's here and, hopefully, hold it in your memory for the next time things get rough.

And that's probably enough sappiness from me today.  What do you wish you'd know one year ago?  What do you want to remember?

*In case anyone was curious, the kick count is when you literally count the movements you feel from the baby and make sure you get up to at least 10 in a 2 hour period.  I think the idea is to get used to monitoring so you notice if there's any big changes in pattern - like if movement drastically slows or stops, so you can let your doctor know asap.


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  1. Huh, I had no idea about kick counts. Haha.

    The slow moments are definitely the sweet moments sometimes. We've had a lot of slow moments and I'm really enjoying them right now!

  2. Okay, is it just me or does it feel wild that you've been married for more than a year already?! Maybe because I remember that day on the beach where you told us all about your impending nuptials like it was yesterday! That you can do it is an awesome thing to have spent this past year learning.

    Enjoying the days while they're here, rather than already anticipating that they will one day be gone and worrying about that point in time, is challenging but wonderful, if you can do it. Going to try a little harder myself to do just that.

    Thanks for joining the challenge!

  3. I like these two in one posts! Holding on to the memory of the good is so, so important! Marriage is weird. The first few years for me were SO easy. We were coasting, we had good jobs, life was good. Now that my husband is starting a business, we're both busy, the good jobs aren't quite as fulfilling - that's what has made marriage harder for me. Hopefully a year from now I can remember these times and be grateful for where we are!

  4. very interesting about the kick counts. i assumed it was something you were doing for fun lol but makes sense. love that you did these 2 together, i might do that too.

    'All you can do is enjoy it while it's here and, hopefully, hold it in your memory for the next time things get rough' - preachy preach preach preach. love it.

  5. I forgot about kick counts! Although with Erica it was more like hiccup counts. That child got the hiccups every single day in utero.

    I think it's good to reflect on things a year later to see how far you've come. Or just how much things can change in a year.

  6. Hehe kick counts!!! I have noticed a routine of baby girls and when her "active times are." It is so fun to think about. And weird too because I am like gosh, isn't she bored in there?

    I think Chris and I went through our hardest time before we got married. I mean, sure we have some arguments here and there but nothing too major. I think that it is important to remember that no couple is perfect and that things are going to happen or come up that you dont agree on and as long as you both make an effort to work through it, everything will be alright. :)

  7. Such a great post! I'm not married, but Joey and I have been together for 11 years and it is DAMN hard sometimes, even now. Throw kids into the mix and...well, you just gotta learn to find balance to keep yourself from punching everyone in the face sometimes. Definitely enjoy the down time you have now and schedule time for yourself and your husband after the baby comes.

  8. It's like these prompts were perfectly provided for you!
    Thank you for explaining "kick counts". I know nothing about such things.

  9. In my opinion, marriage is not hard, it has times that are hard. You might land your dream job but there will still be unpleasant days. I've learned that it's important to pick battles and know when something is not worth turning into an issue.


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