Oct 2, 2017

Cutting Shit Out

Another thing I've been talking about with only minimal success in implementing: pruning.

It was so hard to hold firm and stick with my "No."  To be actually done and not just taking a break for a day or two.

But I've been finding myself more and more irritable lately.  Irritated with the blogs I've been reading, not wanting to leave or respond to comments, and after vacillating between turning off comments and just hiding the blog altogether, finally choosing the latter.

This is officially my space to sort out my thoughts and write purely for pleasure.  I actually quite enjoyed selecting the 15+ comments in my inbox and deleting them without even looking.  Sorry guys!

On a similar note, I'm going to exercise the crap out of "No" in order to adhere to that routine I posted.  I'm going to stop giving myself choices and hope that the break from making decisions gives me back some of the willpower I've been stretching too thin.

I do think my social life and friendships are going to take a hit, but at this point it's time to finally accept that something must give.  I know I'm not going to stop prioritizing my baby or my business, so if I get a 3rd priority before running out of energy or time, it needs to be myself or Ryan.

I almost wrote this post a couple days ago.  It would have been a lot sadder at that point.  I was going to write this:

"I am failing.  I feel like I am failing everyone and everything and I can't keep up with any of it.  I'm a huge mess and as I continue to overload myself, I feel more and more irritated and I don't want to put up with anyone's shit."

So I'm glad to come to this place of calm and acceptance.  I'm ready to let go.  I'm ready to make changes.  I'm ready to admit I cannot do all the things and to choose 4 or 3 or even just 2 and really kick ass at those 2 things.

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